I will admit this may very well be my way of letting myself off the hook, so to speak. It won't work, but still, the human mind tries, doesn't it? We dont' like struggling or feeling we're failing. At least, I don't, so I try to justify what I see as my failures.
I don't think that's the case here.
Here's the question of the day:
I'm not satisfied with my relationship with God. I don't think I trust Him enough nor do I turn to Him during those times when I should. I'm working on both but...
Does my being dissatisfied necessarily mean that God is dissatisfied?
I have no idea where the thought came from, but there it is.
Am I being too hard on myself?
Is my belief enough?
Perhaps I'm putting too much pressure on myself and simply need to relax and let things be?
Now that's truly an interesting question.
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4 comments:
I think God always wants to hear from us. His dissatisfaction, in my mind, may come from feeling us turn our backs on him instead of reaching out for him.
Plus, I'm sorry about your vertigo. That must be so difficult to handle.
Bellezza -
That's a very good point. I can't think of a time when I've turned my back on God. Not completely but, as I said in the previous post - I don't think I turn to Him enough.
The vertigo is much better now. It never stays active for long, which is the one good thing about it.
cjh
If you follow the Biblical characters for their spiritual walks, all went through times in the wilderness. I think spiritual growth comes in cycles and staying the course isn't all about the highs.
Given that, my spiritual beliefs today are very non-traditional. Just had to add that as you are not getting the opinion of a fundamentalist at any religion when I express my viewpoint-- although I have been through fundamentlism of a sort.
Rain -
That's very true. Life has to have some challenge and trial to it otherwise where would our sense of accomplishment and even worth come from?
I think that's one of my struggles, really. The beliefs instilled during my childhood by my church are still important to me but... some of my ways of believing are changing. I don't think it's a bad thing but it leaves me wondering if I'm doing the right thing or the easy thing.
cjh
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